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Part One - The Problem

Hidden Impacts

As he approached his eighteenth birthday, Noah Bradley—a self-anointed nerd into comic books, programming, and pixel art—sat down to figure out what to do with his life. He basically had three options:

Noah chose art.And almost immediately, fear began to seep in—like gas filling an empty chamber.Would he be good enough? Could he earn enough to survive? Would he crash and burn and end up an embarrassing failure?Those fears could’ve sabotaged everything. Could’ve paralyzed him with doubt, or nudged him toward distraction and avoidance.But they didn’t.As Noah explained in his autobiographical Medium article, “How I Became an Artist”, that fear propelled him. It lit a fire. He got serious. He sought out the best schools, the best mentors. He said yes to every opportunity to grow. He poured himself into his craft, determined to master it, whatever the cost.And so, the next decade played out like a classic hero’s journey—cue the montage:

In the end—and against all odds—Noah made it.He went from timid, no-name, and mediocre art student...

To a confident, skilled, and well-paid professional...

Getting commissioned by top fantasy brands like Dungeons & Dragons...

Magic: The Gathering.

Or else, working on his own world-building projects.

An with all that success, life, unsurprisingly, became pretty awesome. As he writes, he got to enjoy:

It may have taken a decade's worth of effort and perseverance, but for Noah, it was all amazingly worth it.

For most people, reading a story like his can be wildly inspiring—especially if they, too, have creative or entrepreneurial ambitions.I remember reading it for the first time a decade ago. As much as I admired his journey, something about it stung.It's like I wasn’t reading anything new. I already knew that to achieve my goals, I had to hustle, focus, and grind for years. I already believed in sacrifice and practice and showing up.But that belief never got me to stick with the process. It didn’t matter how bad I wanted it. Didn't matter what method I tried or tools I used.For me, getting exposed to success stories like Noah’s—and I came across many given my Reddit, YouTube, and Instagram feeds—always seemed to inflated a bubble of hope… Only for it to pop the moment I'd remember how utterly inconsistent I was. How I couldn’t ever follow through.Looking back, sometimes it felt like nothing mattered.Throughout my twenties, I was plagued by apathy and lethargy—toward my career, my creative projects, my daily life. My motivation and focus would drop off a cliff a few seconds into any work session. It felt like I just didn’t have the grit. Or resolve. Or even care.I was stuck in a miserable rut. And I had no idea why or how to get out.It wasn't until years later, after learning everything I could about motivation and how it actually happens in the brain, that I came to see the true cause of my eternal stagnation.And the clue was hiding in plain sight—right there at the end of Noah’s story.

The Real Reason You Waste Time

Welcome, once again, to the Habit Reframe Method. This thing has been a long time coming, so I'm beyond stoked it's finally ready.So let's talk about you and why you're here. Why you're reading this.You’re here because... you’re looking for a solution. A solution to a problem that’s been dogging you for years.On the surface, it looks like time-wasting and procrastination. It looks like tech addiction and uncontrolled bingeing. Or maybe it's coasting and underachieving. But all those things are just symptoms of something deeper, right?There's a real problem—a real cause—behind all those issues.And what is that cause? What is your real problem?Well... it's obvious.It's you.You are to blame. You and your excuses. You and your laziness. You and your brokenness.The way your life looks now... it's all you're fault.I mean... it's a good theory. It really is. I believed it myself for well over a decade—ever since the day I procrastinated on my homework for the very first time.But it's just that. A theory.And, as far as theories goes, it'g couldn't be more wrong.

Step one of the Habit Reframe Method—before we talk strategies or routines or website blockers—is this: letting go of the belief that you are the problem. That you are to blame.Because you’re not.You’re not broken. You’re not damaged.You are not the problem.You, in your efforts to improve yourself and your habits, have simply been working off the wrong assumptions—assumptions about why you procrastinate, why you break promises, why you coast and underachieve.And that why is not you.My hope is that this notion began to seep into your psyche as you read the article that brought you here (what I'll refer to as the motivation article from now on). I hope it made it past your defenses, giving you a rare moment of self-compassion—a moment like, hey, wait a minute. Maybe that makes sense... Maybe all that stuff about vices and shortcuts to rewards... maybe it actually explains why I waste time and procrastinate so much. Maybe I’m not so fundamentally flawed after all.

But... if it didn’t, or if you went on to doomscroll for another 8 hours, effectively erasing the idea from your mind... that’s okay too. Because when it comes to self-compassion and kindness, we’re not done yet. In fact, we’re just getting started—it really is the foundation of the entire method.We’re going to turn all those ‘maybes’ into an absolute certainty.But, hey. I’m getting ahead of myself here.Let’s back up for minute. Let's restart with a quick recap of what we’ve learned so far and where we got stuck. We'll then take it from there.

As we learned previously in the motivation article, rewards had to be earned through meaningful effort. Hunting. Building alliances. Contributing to your tribe. Every reward came at a cost—physical, emotional, or social.

And that reality still holds true. Take, for example, Noah's journey. After putting in a decade of hard-work, Noah got rewarded. He got rewarded big with tons of very pleasant sensations.Comfort. Approval. Connection. Gratification. Excitement... Pleasure.That's great and all for Noah, but just think about those feelings for a moment.As much as we craved them, they aren’t exactly foreign to us, are they? Truth is, we're getting to experience them every single day—and it's not as a reward for patience and hard work.No. We're getting them from our vices.When we feel down, we order our favorite childhood junk food—instant comfort and excitement.When we're stressed or overwhelmed, we scroll Reddit, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok—little bursts of approval and connection.When we can't bring ourselves to work, we binge YouTube, sitcoms, movies… and fine, some porn—hitting the same reward circuits for gratification, pleasure, even affection.The reality is, both us and Noah are getting to experience the same core feelings. The same rewards.But our brains don't know our version is fake. It can't tell we're hitting those feelings through cheap, artificial shortcuts—through simulations with zero substance.And that right there is the heart of the problem.Your vices are getting between you and your dreams because—to the primitive parts of my brain wired for reward and survival—you're already there, living it out.

Shortcuts to Rewards

Us humans... we’re not so different from other animals. We need a carrot on a stick to take action. We need the promise of a reward, otherwise, we’d sit around doing nothing all day, conserving energy. Which makes sense given how we all evolved in an environment of extreme energy scarcity.And vices? Vices are all about that promise. They provide easy shortcuts to reward.

See, On the surface, that's fine—great even, when you consider how nice it is that we can, say, pop on a video game for the thrill of adventure, rather than needing to trek into the wild.But when you overdo it—when you flick your way through reward after reward, hour after hour, day after day—your brain gets gaslit into believing you're surviving exceptionally well. That, thanks to social media algorithms, you’re already living your precise dream life.So… when it comes time to actually do something hard—to work, to create, to take real action—your subconscious pushes back.It’s like:

And that’s when you get slammed by soul-crushing resistance. By that heavy, familiar “ugh, I just don’t feel like it” sensation.That’s why you’re stuck.

The (Other) Impacts of Vices

When it comes to the overuse and of vices, motivation isn’t the only thing that takes a massive hit—although it’s most critical and will remain the focus of the method.Today’s vices can leave you with anxiety issues, attention issues, emotional dysregulation (especially when it comes to feeling content and happy), and a general loss of interest in things that used to matter to you.The research on this is accelerating. And pop-psychology writers are not too far behind, doing what they do to interpret and disseminate the findings to the masses.

So what you’re dealing with on a daily basis is actually a cluster of symptoms. It's a set of psychological effects that build up and feed off each other. We're talking:

And that’s what you’re dealing with. That’s what has you stuck in a rut of inactivity, unable to focus, weighed down by chronic low-grade dysthymia, depression, apathy—unable to break out.

The Poison Drip

Low mood. Scattered focus. A lack of drive and motivation.All of that sucks… but like, what would your local podcaster say about it?

Okay. That’s fair, actually.Because, at the end of the day, you do have free will. No one’s forcing you to procrastinate or waste your life. You can use willpower. You can use discipline. You can, for once in your life, get your act together and just not waste time.But let me ask you (or the podcaster) this:What if you came across someone who was heavily exposed to a toxin—let's say, lead. So they’re showing lead poisoning symptoms: lethargy, brain fog, low mood.Would you tell them to get their act together? To push harder? To use willpower and stop being a victim?I hope not.Well, your thing isn’t all that different. It’s like you've been hooked up to a poison drip—one you don’t notice. It doesn’t knock you down all at once. But over days, weeks, months, it builds. The symptoms creep in.Eventually—and inevitably—those symptoms begin to shape your behavior.Sure, you can push through for a while. You can force it. Muscle through with grit. But when the symptoms of VIDS are constant and unrelenting… You just burn out. So you stop showing up. You stop doing the work. And you start procrastinating. Doomscrolling. Numbing out.And in a way, your situation is worse than the toxin example. Because this behavior itself is a part of the exposure. It would be like if one of the symptoms of lead poisoning was a compulsion to ingest more lead.That’s Addiction 101.So once again—it’s not about you being weak or pathetic. It’s not a character flaw. It’s definitely not about being lazy.It’s about living with a real syndrome. With real symptoms. Symptoms that quietly wear you down and drain your ability to get anything done.And you never see it happening... because you’re too busy blaming yourself. You keep thinking it’s you. Youand yourr lack of self-control. You and your failure to “just do it.”You keep thinking the answer is more inspiration. More “wanting it.”
A better productivity app. A better routine. Some magical new habit system.But that’s not it. It never was.Because it’s not you.It’s not your fault.It’s not you.It’s not your fault.It’s the VIDS.It’s the vices.

The “Just Stop” Solution

If the problem is the overconsumption of vices... what then is the solution? What's the cure to VIDS?Well, let’s go back to the toxin analogy.If your walls are full of lead paint, the first step is obvious: Rip them out. Stop with the damn exposure.Same thing here.Cut out the vices.Give your brain time to detox (as much as I dislike that word) and reset. Without vices, your VIDS symptoms will start to fade. You'll feel lighter. More clear-headed. Just all around better. And as that happens, your natural motivation will creep back up to a baseline.

And that’s when your behavior shifts.You'll start doing the work. You'll start showing up.You'll start building good habits.

None of it forced. None of it through willpower.Just honest, natural, unforced effort toward real rewards and real benefits.That’s the cure. That's how you go on to live your best life.Simple, right?But as we’ve already established… that first step, stopping the vices, is 784x easier said than done (I measured it).So, this won't be your first rodeo. You’ve already made the promises to quit or cut back—if only because vices waste so much time.But it never sticks. You keep going back—even when you know better. Same old habits. Same patterns. Same loop. Same regret.The question is why?

Why You Keep Coming Back

To answer this all-important question, we need only consider the simple life of... a moth.

You see, during the day, our little moth friend hides and sleeps. It's at night that he comes out to find food and go through his mating ritual.But it's dark, and his little bug eyes don't provide the best vision. He nneds to rely on the brightest object in the sky for orientation, which is usually the moon.

Now, if we were to observe this moth, we might define—at any given moment—an action path. It's the path that best keeps him safe from predators or else moves him toward food or a potential mate.We might call this the "Is Right" path.

Thing is, our little moth isn't actually thinking about any of this. He’s not weighing pros and cons or consulting best-practices flowcharts, trying to arrive at an optimized Is Right direction.No. Taking the path that Is Right—the one that’s best for survival—has simply come to feel right.In other words, through millions of years of evolution, the path that Is Right is now tightly aligned with the path that Feels Right.

Know how I know all this?Like, how I know moths aren’t secretly skilled in critical thinking and change management?Well, it’s because humans came along and introduced something entirely new to their environment: artificial lights.

With these lights, nothing fundamental has changed.Food still needs to be found. Mates still need to be courted. Predators still need to be avoided. The moon's still glowing bright in the sky.The path that Is Right—the one that ensures survival—stays exactly as it was.Yet what has changed... is what Feels Right.

Artificial lights are brighter, warmer, and closer than anything else in the night sky. As such, they disorient the moth, causing it to fly in erratic loops as its reference point—once steady for millennia—just won't stay put.All the while, he’s confused. Because, at every moment, he's doing what feels right. His looping feels purposeful. It feels like survival.But it’s not. In fact, he's at risk of collapsing from exhaustion or else getting tangled up in a cleverly positioned spiderweb.Simply put: the path that Is Right—the one aligned with survival—has been detached from the path that Feels Right.Millions of years of painstaking evolution... undone with the flick of a switch.

Misaligned Paths

It’s easy to scoff at the irrational behavior of moths. It's like, c’mon man… clearly that bright, hot light isn’t the damn moon. Why don’t they ever learn and adapt? Moths are pretty stupid.Okay, sure… yet, are humans really that much better?

But let's back up a bit—lay some groundwork for that punchline.Yes, as humans with big human brains, we’re more sophisticated than moths... but only in the way that we don’t use a physical point in the sky to orient our actions.Instead, we direct ourselves with a metaphoric one—one we might call our North Star.

Our North Star represents our highest ideals and values. It’s what we believe will guide us to our aspirational identities, to our goals and ambitions, to the most meaningful experiences and satisfying rewards life has to offer.Having that kind of internal compass, oriented towards our ideal future, is also an evolved survival adaptation. We’re tribal by nature—so whether our goals are vain (like acquiring and displaying material wealth) or selfless (like caring for vulnerable offspring), it’s all to our species’ greater benefit.So, through millions of years of evolution, the path that Is Right became tightly aligned with what Feels Right.

Which is great—because humans, like all animals, are driven to act based on quick visceral feelings, not on slow logic. We act on what feels right—not what’s rationally best.That system worked beautifully for millions of year… that is, until we introduced something to our environment that’s as new, foreign and disorienting to us as artificial lights are to moths.We introduced vices.

And vices are infinitely brighter, warmer, and closer than our faint and distant North Star.They've come to pull our sense of what Feels Right completely out of alignment with what Is Right.

And not unlike the moth circling a porch light, this gets us ensnared in endless dopamine-driven loops of wanting, approaching, and consuming.That's because, there’s nothing to pull us away. No sense of completion. No finish line. On the contrary, it continues to feel more and more right—despite all evidence to the contrary—so we keep chasing and looping and doomscrolling until we collapse from exhaustion.This is super important, so I’ll say it another way:With vices, the signal for reward—and survival—is loud. Louder than the quiet pull of our North Star. So it feels right to go after it. It lights up our dopamine pathways and proves its worth with every instant hit of gratification.But the actual potential for survival benefit? It’s nonexistent. There's no actual substance to gain. Not only that, it can lead to survival detriments. To stress and anxiety. To the risks and harms of procrastination and underperformance.Vices leads to survival threats.And so, just like our moth friend, we circle back. Because doing so feels right. Which then amplifies the survival threat, so it feels more right and we return once again.Then again. And again. And again.Until... well, there is no "until". Some of us can spend our entire lives aimlessly circling around vices.

What's Actually Changed

Despite everything—despite the vices, the loops, the binges, the self-reprimand—your North Star hasn’t changed.Sure, your belief in yourself—your confidence that you can actually reach it—may be completely shot. But trust me on this: your star is still there, waiting for you to use it. It might be hidden behind thick clouds of depression, self-doubt, and apathy… but it’s still there.What has changed, though, is what Feels Right. Because of vices, what feels right is no longer even remotely aligned with what Is Right for you.And that right there is the core of the problem.That’s the problem—why you can’t just “stop it” with your vices.Because stopping vices always feels wrong. And we operate based on feeling. That’s not weakness—it’s biology. It’s how we evolved.

But maybe you’re still not buying it. Maybe some part of you is like:

Fair. That voice makes sense.But, the next section will show you exactly why it’s not that simple—why self-awareness, logic, and a willingness to use willpower and self-control aren’t enough to get you out of this situation.

Our Brain on Vices

Despite our apparent intelligence, human behavior is still overwhelmingly driven by a very primitive mammalian brain.

Sure, it evolved over millions of years to be sophisticated enough to solve a Rubik’s cube (some of us, anyway), but all that newer evolutionary goodness was just tacked on top of a impulsive, highly emotional, and reward-driven core.

It still thinks it’s 72,000 BC. It still thinks we’re living in the wild, where food is scarce and threats are everywhere. So it reacts—by secreting chemicals like dopamine, cortisol, and adrenaline—to prod you into quick, decisive action. Action it assumes is necessary for survival. Action that feels good and right.But it’s blind to the outside world.The only way the Reptilian Brain knows if an action is survival-related is if, in the past, it’s given you a big, satisfying reward. So when it senses the opportunity to repeat the action (what's referred to as a “cue”), it makes the action feel super right, then motivates you to act quickly before it vanishes.

As discussed previously, that system has worked amazingly well for our survival. And so, through countless generations of natural selection, what Feels Right had become oriented towards what Is Right.Of course today, in this age of ubiquitous vices—of artificial shortcuts to reward—our survival instinct gets hijacked. The evidence-backed assumption that “reward = good = survival benefits” no longer holds true.

But there’s no way to "explain" that to your primitive brain, just like you can't explain artificial lights to a moth. So it keeps pushing. Over and over. Feeling righ the entire time.

Imagine spotting a bowl of gummy bears at a party.

Because you’ve had rewarding experiences with them before, your primitive brain immediately lights up:

So you saunter over on autopilot and start picking at the gummy bears—stopping only when it no longer feels socially acceptable (as in, when the Feels Right drive ends).This isn’t a design flaw. It’s an evolved survival instinct. Your brain is hardwired to push you to eat more than your immediate needs, so that any excess sugar can be stored as fat to survive long, cold, berryless winters. That's the eventual "survival benefit" of the action (the reward being the pleasing taste).But your subconscious doesn’t know it’s 2025. It's software hasn’t updated for a world of processed food and high-fructose corn syrup.There’s no built-in “stop” instinct. No voice saying, “Okay, enough. You don’t want type 2 diabetes, do you?”The same goes for social media, porn, TV, and video games. Your primitive brain doesn’t know they’re vicarious or fake. It doesn’t understand screens or algorithms.All it knows is that the shiny rectangle thing delivers bursts of survival-affirming reward.So when you see it, your brain compels you to pick it up. And it feels good. Which only reinforces the mistaken belief that it’s essential for survival.

Like I said. The Reptilian Brain. Dummy Extraordinaire.

The Conscious Override

Your subconscious drives a huge portion of your behavior. It acts fast and without your permission. And when a reward isn’t available, it makes you crave one, leaving you miserable until you satisfy it.

But you also have a conscious mind. You have free will. You have the ability to direct your actions and make value-driven choices. You can use self-control to override irrational impulses. And willpower to ride out discomfort.But there's a catch.Your conscious mind—the part that plans, weighs pros and cons, and makes reasoned decisions—it's still wired to the Reptilian Brain.And the Reptilian Brain? It’s doesn't just make you feel things—it manipulates you.The deeper, emotional parts of your brain have neural tentacles that reach into your rational brain. They influence how you think, feel, remember, and justify. Not unlike a parasite, your subconscious tricks you into thinking you’re calling the shots—when really it’s pulling the strings from below.That’s how you end up sauntering back to your most self-destructive vices, all casual and nonchalant… as if they haven’t been ruining your life… as if you didn't, like 2 minutes earlier, make a desperate plea to avoid them like the plague.

Well, you weren’t thinking. Not clearly, anyway.Your thinking was biased. Twisted by emotional signals. Something deep in your brain convinced you it was a great idea—then used your rational mind to seal the deal with a story that felt true and rational.

Hot Cognition

You—the real you who observes, reflects, and sets long-term goals—aren’t broken. You’re being manipulated by an older, more primitive part of your brain, one still running outdated programming. That part of your brain believes, wrongly, that vices are essential. That they’re the best way to both gain survival benefits and conserve energy.This leads to the "Feels Right" trifecta of phenomena that drive impulsive action:

Together, they push you into action before you’re ever given the chance to consider otherwise. There's no hesitation. No internal debate. No angel and devil on the shoulders; you weighing the options.There just action. That feels right. That feels logical.Psychologists call this Hot Cognition: a state where your thoughts, decisions, and perceptions are heavily shaped by emotion. It’s what pulls you toward instant gratification, bypasses slower rational thinking, and fabricates justifications that feel logically sound.So when you reach for your vice, it doesn’t just feel right—it also feels reasonable. As if it’s the smart thing to do.And that’s why you keep going back. Why you can't "just stop".

Coping mechanisms

It doesn't end there. Because life has a knack for throwing curveballs at you.Your boss sends a scathing email questioning your commitment. Your crush leaves you on 'read' for the second day in a row. Your sister makes that passive-aggressive comment about your weight at dinner.In these moments—or what I call Big Triggers—your brain doesn't calmly think, "I should process these emotions in a healthy way." No—it screams for immediate escape.It screams for vices.

So now, as an adult, you don’t reach for your phone just for entertainment. You reach for it as an emergency escape hatch.So let’s say you do come to see vices for what they are: empty hits of gratification tied to the very symptoms that have you procrastinating and underachieving. Let’s say that insight becomes strong enough for you to start resisting them. Great. That’s how you begin to heal.But it won’t last.Because sooner or later—and it’s always sooner—life throws a Big Trigger at you...You get the stressful email.You feel the sting of rejection.You glance at the stack of bills.Something happens that spikes your stress and leaves you feeling vulnerable and threatened.And when it does, your brain lights up with Hot Cognition. It Feels Right to escape. It also feels urgent and justified and smart. So you pile carbs on a plate, or else you grab your phone or TV remote.

You deal with the threat. You survive.

Doomscrolling Feedback Loops

At some point, though—maybe the show’s season finishes, maybe your eyes start to dry out—you’ll surface to the present moment. And that’s when the panic hits.You throw the phone down. You stuff the remote between the couch cushions. You clench your jaw. The deadline you’ve been ignoring looms closer. Cortisol floods your brain.

Now you’re stressed. Anxious. Your brain kicks off a barrage of self-criticism:

It sucks. It’s overwhelming. It physically hurts.So what happens next?You some sense knocked into you and you get to work, right?Wrong. You get hit with an intense compulsion to do something—anything—to escape the discomfort.And wouldn’t you know it… the very thing that can deliver just the right kind of relief.... yeah, it’s still sitting right there beside you.A moth to a fucking flame.

This behavior doesn't mean you're flawed or a bad person. On the contrary—this is your survival instinct kicking in when it senses a threat.To your brain, stress and anxiety = danger. And danger must be eliminated immediately. You need relief. Sitting down and doing the work? That takes time. Effort. Energy.Your brain is programmed for efficiency. It's made to jump at the fastest and most reliable path to safety. And, for you, that path leads to vices.It’s messed up, right?The cause of the bad feelings—the guilt, the stress, the anxiety… what's even behind much of the shame, depression, and regret that weaves in and out of your life—is the same thing that's incredibly effective at instantly relieving all those bad feelings.In this cycle of distraction and relief, your vices become both the poison and the antidote. You get trapped in a closed feedback loop that soothes as it harms.As with all addictions, the drug both causes and cures the disease.

I call it the Doomscroll Feedback Loop.Today, through thousands of repetitions, you've learned that you can escape bad feelings by using your vices. But when your vices also provoke bad feelings, it creates a vicious feedback loop that rapidly transfixes you into a zombie-like state of auto-compulsions.

The takeaway is this:You, the real you, is not flawed or defective. You’re just operating on ancient software that’s been hijacked by modern vices. Just like a moth circling around an artificial light, you're always just trying your best.The key then isn’t to beat yourself up for slipping when you do something that feels entirely right. The key is to understand the mechanism behind the slipup. It’s to see how your primitive brain fires up the craving, the compulsion, and the rationalization into a seamless autopilot routine.From there, you can put in play a process to reprogram that routine. To realign what Feels Right with what Is Right.And that’s exactly what the Habit Reframe Method is about.

Part Two - The Solution

The Habit Reframe Method

The goal of the Habit Reframe Method is simple and singular: to realign what Feels Right in your life with what Is Right.In other words, I don't just want to be productive... I want you to want to be productive. To want to take healthy action.I want you to feel like doing your assignment. To feel like grooming yourself and dressing well. To feel like exercising and cooking decent meals. All of it grounded in self-love and self-respect. No force or coercion required.That shift happens naturally as your VIDS symptoms begin to fade. As your motivation and well-being rise back to a solid baseline from a lack of vice exposure. As they continue to rise with motivation-nurturing actions.That shift happens as your survival-obsessed brain gradually accepts that it needs to return to the old-fashioned way of surviving. That your Hot Cognition needs to be directed, not toward vices, but toward healthful habits and meaningful action. Toward your true North Star.And when it comes to vices? The goal is to find yourself... just not really feeling like it. At least, not when you’ve got real, meaningful work to do. Or else when it’s time to be active, to socialize, or to unwind with something calm and low-key.But sometimes, you do feel like it. And that’s perfectly okay too. So, you'll indulge in an engaging, enjoyable vice when it’s legitimately aligned with what Is Right.Then, when the time is right... you'll just stop. You'll move on—simply because continuing starts to feel wrong.It's like you're abstaining or else moderating... all sort of by accident.And that, dear reader, is the promised land. That’s you living your best life—where what feels right happens to also be right.It's a life with you constantly chipping away at your obligations and your aspirations—not by brute force, but with alignment toward your true North Star. It's a life free of endless sacrifice and deprivation. Free of the exhausting, never-ending battles of self-control and willpower. Without forcing yourself through actions that, while they may be right, viscerally feel wrong.That’s the dream destination.Now, onto the tricky matter of getting there.

Leaky Buckets

I started the motivation article by talking about clarity—about the importance of setting goals, mapping out your dream life, spelling out your deeper "whys".I did this to set up a reveal: that that sort of thing can be a shallow fix. That it only really provides inspiration, which isn’t the same thing as motivation. And without motivation—without having the subconscious green light to expend energy on work—you’ll never end up doing anything… no matter how “clear” you are about your goals or how bad you want them.Does that mean thinking deeply and gaining clarity is useless? Or that translating your goals and ambitions into a plan and a daily process is a big waste? No, actually. In fact, as you’ll see, doing such foundational work is a key piece of the method.It just means they aren’t the solution—they're just part of it. And the same goes for every other aspect of this method.I used to get frustrated by this. I clung to the belief that I would find the one solid tactic, tool, program, or whatever that would finally catalyze my transformation and keep it going forever.But that’s a fool’s errand.Because a solution made of one singular intervention just doesn't exist. And it will never will. The jam we're all in is too complex, too persistent, and too deeply rooted.Turns out, fixing our core problem can only happen by stacking the solutions.

Imagine you have to collect water flowing from a leaky roof, but all you have is a pile of wooden, crack-riddled buckets. So you position the first one to catch the initial stream—but that leaks. You place a second bucket underneath, but that leaks too. So you add a third, and so on.Solving the water leak problem this way is impossible—unless (and forgive the physics of this) you set yourself up with a closed system: the first bucket catching the leaks from the last.In that case, the intervention, though imperfect in its parts, becomes effective as a whole.That’s the core idea behind the Habit Reframe Method.It’s built around four interconnected “buckets.” Each one on its own is leaky. Incomplete. But together, they form a whole where the weaknesses of one are compensated for by the strengths of the next.Let's start with the first: Systems.

First bucket – Systems

I was good for a while, hitting the gym regularly, working on my goals, consuming my vices more or less in moderation—then the pandemic hit, aaaand everything went to shit.It was a paradox.I had more free time than I’d ever had before.More time to go for runs, do my yoga, knock out bodyweight exercises. More time to get ahead on work or chip away at side projects. More time for leisure—not mindless internet crap, but actual leisure: interesting books, insightful online courses, fun hobbies.I had more time, more time, more time…

The pandemic lockdowns impacted our lives in countless ways. Sure, we were subject to severe spatial constraints, but our temporal freedom was unprecedented.No commutes. No appointments. No social obligations. That meant more opportunities—and more excuses—to procrastinate.And yet, I’d had a decent workout habit going before lockdowns began. Plus my job already let me work from home when I wanted. So what had changed, really?Why did more time, freedom, flexibility, and opportunity—the stuff I’d assume was needed to start and sustain a habit—lead to a complete collapse of my habits?The problem, I realized, was the excess of decisions I now had to make.Say I woke up with the intention to go for a run. Here’s how that played out:

Rinse and repeat, every day.So... several months in, I decided to look back, asking myself: What exactly had changed? What had made me consistent before?The answer was simple: Every weekday, during my commute home, I walked past the gym. That meant I had exactly one moment per day to decide whether to go in. And if it was a gym day, three times out of four, I’d go.Without realizing it, I’d built a system.I had an external constraint that nudged me toward consistency.

So… I decided to simulate that.I found an anti-snooze alarm app that required me to take a photo to shut it off. I then set a 5:15 pm alarm for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. When it rang, I was forced to walk down to the basement and snap a pic of my kettlebells.This didn’t mean I had to work out. It was that I had to show up. I also forbid myself from working out at any other time. I was pretty determined to simulate my previous constraint with its once-a-day decision-making window.And you know what? It actually worked.It worked because I stopped relying on vague desires and good intentions.

Defining a System

In most self-help contexts, a system is a structure, routine, or other intervention designed to make starting (and sticking with) habits easier.At its core, a good system:

That could mean a workout schedule and regimen, a weekly meal-prep plan, a pre-work session ritual, or even something as simple as leaving your guitar on the couch so you’ll pick it up more often.

Establishing your North Star

Systems are how you go from being a leaf in the wind—tossed around by impulses, interruptions, and shiny ideas—to becoming a sturdy oak, rooted in by personal values and a long-term vision.They’re often what separates people who make consistent progress from those who start strong enough, but end up abandon everything by week three.And that's how most productivity programs sell themselves:

Such is the gospel of Notion dashboards, habit trackers, bullet journals, and time-blocking calendars.But in practice? That only works when you already have a baseline level of energy and motivation. And for someone dealing with chronic Vice-Induced Depressive Syndrome (VIDS), that baseline just isn’t there.So in taking on the Habit Reframe Method, you’ll need a different approach when it comes to building systems—one that’s built for people who aren’t firing on all cylinders just yet.Because for us procrastinators—for those of us not already out in orbit (to reference a past metaphor)—the conventional systems mindset leaves out a key truth:You won’t always have enough motivation to run your system.You can have the best workout program, the prettiest planner, the most satisfying task board…And still spend the entire day glued to your phone, feeling like trash.

So, we’re starting small.The goal right now won't be to teleport you to our destination. It’s to stop you from falling backwards while slowly teaching you how to walk again.So for now, you'll start with the bare minimum of a system. **Just one thing: a quick morning routine called the North Star Prompt. It takes about 2 to 5 minutes. It’s low effort, low friction, but the payoff is solid.

Your North Star Prompt

The North Star Prompt consists of a series of one-button interactive pages you'll go through in sequence. There are six segments—each designed to help you check in with yourself, remind you of what really needs reminding, and set you up for a productive, priority-focused day.Here’s an overview of each segment, with example screenshots:

*The prompt begins by guiding you to become aware of what’s happening internally—mentally, emotionally, and physically.You won’t be asked to fix anything. The point is simply to notice what might be pulling your attention or shaping your mood before the day even begins.

This is you, looking up towards what you want to guide you throughout your day. It's a reminder of who you want to be and what you want to achieve; your best and truest self.

These are your personal Rules, Commitments, and Accepted Exceptions—the routines and flexible boundaries that reflect your best self in action.Seeing them every morning keeps them top of mind, so that when moments of decision come, you’ll quickly know if something that Feels Right also aligns with what Is Right.

This section is for short, punchy notes and mantras to your future self. It's the stuff you want to repeat to yourself every single day; the ideas you want hammered deep into your psyche, especially the ones that are too easy to forget.

This is your space to sketch out a plan for the day: tasks, priorities, and scheduling.You can customize this part however you like. It can be as simple as a three-item to-do list (and that’s how I insist you start)… or as structured as a time-blocked schedule with a priority-based project and task management setup. There’s no single right way to do this—just a system that makes sense to you and your projects.

The prompt wraps up by reconnecting you to the present moment. You’ll also assess your current motivation level (which is then tracked on a calendar), helping you set an appropriate level of expectations for yourself that day.

Setting up your North Star Prompt is simple. It’s just a quick exercise in two parts:

From there, the Prompt will be ready. All you’ll need to do each morning is open it up and follow the same flow.

Your Turn: Define Your North Star and RC&AE

Alright, now it’s your turn.But don’t worry, there's no vision board or values assessment to do. We're just going to jot a few things down—quickly and simply—so you'll have something populating your North Star Prompt.

Click the icon below to open this method's workbook.

Limitations of Systems

Systems are indeed great. They’re wonderful and awesome and amazing.They’re the one thing that’ll lead to you achieving your goals and living your dream life. But... there’s one minor little detail: You actually have to respect them.Day in, day out, you have to follow the rules and stay within the boundaries you’ve set. And for us procrastinators, that’s infinitely easier said than done. Because we’re going to get hit with a barrage of self-sabotaging thoughts, emotions, and drives.Temptations. Rationalizations. Excuses. All of these are working overtime to make us forget our rules—and coax us toward our vices.But that’s okay. Because as a first line of defense, you’ll have the next bucket in place, Blockers—designed to guard against those emotional and visceral experiences that systems alone can’t do much against.In other words, when your system leaks, blockers catch the drip. We’ll explore that next.

Second Bucket: Blockers

Each year, the corporate titans behind TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, and Reddit invest billions into their platforms.They hire the world’s top programmers, data engineers, and behavioral scientists. They work relentlessly to attract and retain an endless stream of content creators—the people who actually populate those platforms and are rewarded for the most addicting, enticing, and sometimes even emotionally manipulative content.And all of this expense and effort is aimed at one thing:To get you hooked. To sell more ads. To keep enriching their already-rich shareholders.It’s pretty messed up when you think about it. And I’m sure you do think about it, given life is now basically an eternal battle between you and megacorp Goliath with its army of attention-starved minions.

The bulk of this method is you playing offence... but you can set up a solid defense. You can do the equivalent of tying yourself to the mast while sailing past today's Sirens (the ancient symbol of vices beckoning us away from the Is Right path). Just like in The Odyssey, this is us pre-committing through physical means, making it harder for our future self to act through “Feels Right” Hot Cognition.This is us setting website blockers and screen-time limits.

The Two Criteria for Effective Blocking

So, I have a looooong history with website blockers. And for the longest time, I thought about them in a strictly binary way: either you set them loose and flexible… or you make them ironclad and unremovable.Most of the time, I saw my compulsions and rationalizations as so irrational and insurmountable that I believed I couldn’t afford even a smidge of flexibility. I simply couldn't trust myself, so my blockers had to be on the ironclad side: no disable buttons, no overrides, no way to uninstall. Total lockdown.But then—inevitably—such a system would cause problems.I’d need YouTube for tutorials. Or else key Reddit threads would show up in Google search results. And blocking Instagram or LinkedIn meant missing out on opportunities to network or collaborate.Sure, with fancier software, I could set up exceptions and allowances… but sooner or later, I’d hit a situation where I really needed to override one of my blocks.So, I'd find myself swinging in the opposite direction. I'd decide that the real problem was the rigidity of my blockers—and how they were eroding any remaining sense of self-trust.I’d then back up my files, reformat my devices to get rid of the blocks. I'd start fresh, installing a few basic browser extensions. Nothing major. Just soft gates to check my autopilot impulses.Of course… eventually, something would trigger me. I’d rationalize disabling the blocks, just for a minute...

And, well, you know the rest.

It never occurred to me that the real solution lies somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. That website blockers need to be flexible enough to account for my legitimate needs for access—whether that’s for productive purposes or for healthy leisure… and rigid enough to hold strong when faced with ill-advised Hot Cognition impulses.In practical terms, your blocking system needs to satisfy two essential criteria:

Meaning: it can’t be disabled, removed, modified, or circumvented on a whim. If your blocker folds the moment you feel a flicker of temptation, it’s useless. This is the “tie yourself to the mast” part.

Because yes—there will be times when you need to make a change. Maybe it’s for work. Maybe it’s research. Maybe it’s just to unwind with something intentional.And that’s fine. But the key is: it can’t be instant and effortless. It can't be done in a few clicks or by waiting for a countdown timer to elapse. It needs to require some actual effort. It needs a bit of friction.

Friction Blocks

As I like to say: don’t solve a problem by creating another one.With friction blockers, you can solve the problem of compulsive action—without creating the deeper, more damaging problem of a gutted sense of self-trust.

This is what you need to see when you try to access a vice:

Because, when you’re just starting out with the method—when your VIDS symptoms are high—your motivation will be low if not at a dead zero.In that phase, your so-called “laziness” becomes a strategic advantage. The effort to disable your blockers will feel like too much work.

But later, once you’ve made progress, once you do have legitimate reasons to disable a block, you’ll have the motivation to go through the friction. And that'll work out just fine—because you'll set it so the blocker re-locks on its own when the tab closes or after a set time.

What’s key about this system is that it’s the best of both worlds. It's rigid enough to hold strong during moments of Big Triggers—those times when something sinister and urgent is driving you toward your vices. And flexible enough not to stifle you or block your ability to get things done.More importantly, it preserves your self-trust and self-image.You’re not telling yourself you can never be trusted. You’re simply recognizing that you need to guard against a certain part of yourself—that primitive, impulsive core that didn’t evolve for an era overflowing with instant-access vices. But beyond that, you can trust yourself to do the right thing.Sure, you’ll slip up and falter at times. But you also won’t slip up during all the other moments. Each time you stay true to your intentions—each moment that passes where you could waste time but decide, Nah, I’d rather stay on the Is Right path and get my work done—you’re nurturing and building your self-trust.Self-trust is absolutely essential on this journey. Without it, you get stuck in self-destructive loops and self-fulfilling prophecies of I can’t trust myself, so the moment I taste my vices, I end up bingeing.The truth is: you can trust yourself.But self-trust isn’t simply a decision. It’s something you earn and grow with repetition... lots and lots of repetition of doing the right thing. You just need the right tools and mindset to make that happen.

Productive Loopholes

Sometimes you need quick, focused access to certain vices. Maybe someone sent you a link to a Reddit thread. Or you need to watch a YouTube video to learn how to patch a hole in drywall. In such cases, having to go through the rigmarole of a friction system is just too inconvenient and cumbersome.In this case, you can employ productive loopholes.With sites like YouTube or Reddit, you can set things up so that one and only one video or post link can be accessed—without the risk of tumbling down an algorithm rabbit hole. I'll show you how in the process below.

Setting up your Content Blockers 1: Computers

Step 1: Install Effective Software

There are quite a few options out there. But honestly... just go with Cold Turkey.It’s free for our purposes (and reasonably priced if you want advanced features—plus, it’s a one-time purchase, not a subscription, which is rare and awesome). It works well on both Mac and PC. It’s nearly impossible to override or uninstall without a complicated process, and it includes all the customization features you’ll need.The interface is simple and intuitive.

You basically set yourself up with a collection of “blocks,” each of which can be programmed to block a list of domains, subdomains, keywords, or apps.From there, you can customize each block—things like which user on the device the block applies to, or parameters like daily allowances or custom blocked periods. The user guide provides more details if you’re interested. Most of that is only available in the paid version, but we’ll just be using the free features for this method.

Step 2: Set-up your blocks

Think of all the problematic sites you tend to visit when procrastinating. Then think about how you can group them.You can group them by category—one block for news, one for social media. Or you can create one block per site, which is what I do for the more problematic ones that I also frequently need access to, like Reddit and YouTube.For each block, add in the applicable websites.

Some notes and tips:

Once done, your dashboard should look like this:

Step 3: Lock each block

In the main Blocks tab, click where it says “Unlocked”. Then select the “Random Text” tab.I suggest using 50 characters of random gibberish—but don’t go below 30. For blocks you know you’ll never/rarely need to modify (e.g. adult sites), go 100+.Note: another advantage of Cold-Turkey is if you want to make a block more severe, say you want to add a few sites to a block, you don’t need to unlock it. So don’t worry about setting a high character count for these.Keep everything else on default.

After clicking Save, you’ll need to flip the toggle to activate the lock. Once confirmed, it should turn green.With all your blocks set and locked, your screen should look like this.

And you're all set.

How to access a blocked site

If you need access to a blocked site, open it in your browser and click the green Unblock Tab button.

Choose a duration, and punch in the required characters. (That’s the friction part)

Reddit and YouTube Productive Loopholes

If ever you need quick, focused access to a single Reddit or YouTube link, copy the link URL and follow these steps:

I suggest adding both to your bookmarks bar for quick access. These sites also work on mobile, by the way.

Setting up your Content Blockers 2: Mobile

iOS (iPhone + iPad)

Use the built-in Screen Time feature. It’s free, doesn’t require any sketchy, battery-draining VPNs, and is hard to bypass once locked.

🚫 1. block specific websites (and adult content):

⏳ 2. time-limit apps or websites:

🔐 3. lock the blocks:

🔓 To make a change (aka the friction):

Android OS

Android doesn’t offer a built-in Screen Time feature like iOS, but you can piece together an effective system.

🚫 For website blocking:

⏳ For app control:

Limitiations of Blockers

At the end of the day, unless you block the entire internet now and forever—a tempting idea, I know—it’s impossible to block every avenue of time-wasting, all of the time. When it comes to the Blocks bucket, there will be leaks.Sometimes it's the Whack-a-Mole effect: you block Reddit, only to find yourself wandering through Wikipedia. You block that, and end up cycling through news sites. You block those, and now you’re deep into Twitter threads. On and on it goes.Other times, your environment limits your options. Maybe your work computer doesn’t allow installs. Maybe your roommate leaves their device out unlocked. Maybe your parents keep junk food stocked. Or maybe there’s some vice you allow yourself “just this once” for work or leisure… until it snowballs.Whatever the reason, some distractions will slip through.And when they do, don’t panic. Don’t beat yourself up. Just catch and contain the leak using the next bucket: Self-Compassion.

Third bucket: Self-compassion

The rules of meditation are simple.Rule no. 1: Focus your attention on your breath.... that’s it.The genius thing about meditation, however, lies in its unspoken rule: you’re sort of allowed to lose focus.Of course, this unspoken rule directly contradicts the one hard rule, but somehow the practice still holds. That's because with meditation, it's not just okay if you falter; it's entirely expected. In fact, the act of "picking yourself back up when you falter" by returning your focus to the breath is itself the practice.With meditation, there's zero need for self-criticism. Because a side goal of the practice is to detach and observe firsthand the frenetic circus that is the mind. Random thoughts and reveries are natural and expected. Criticizing ourselves for this is like criticizing the lion for being ferocious. This is just its nature.No, our job with meditation is simple: sit and observe it all happening inside... then try your best to maintain focus, gently reining it in when it deviates.

The Meditator’s Mindset

If you want to break the spell of Vice Induced Depressive Syndrome, you’ll need to curb your vice intake for a long while. No way around that.But this isn’t your first rodeo.You’ve tried moderation—setting limits, strict allowances... and it didn’t work.You’ve tried gradually weaning down... and it didn’t work.You’ve tried going cold turkey... and it didn’t work.You tried cold turkey again, this time with fiery resolve—and still, it didn’t work.And now here you are, once again, hoping this time will be different. Hoping this time you’ll actually stick with it.And in a way, this time won’t be different. You’ll still have rules and commitments—clear boundaries you’ve set for yourself, based on your North Star.But what will change is your approach.This time, you’ll adopt the Meditator’s Mindset.This time, you’ll embrace the unspoken rule that says: it’s okay to slip up. It’s okay to deviate.You’ll let go of the fantasy of being perfect forever. You’ll stop punishing yourself for breaking a streak that no one’s tracking but you. You’ll accept—and even expect—that you’ll falter. That you’ll binge, scroll, or spiral. And instead of shame or reprimand, you’ll meet it with understanding.As with meditation, the skill to gain with the Habit Reframe Method isn't the ability to sustain perfect adherence to the rules. No, the skill is honing your ability to catch yourself when you deviate, and to return to the proper path as quickly as possible.

“But hold on”, I hear you saying.“Won’t accepting my bad behaviors as inevitable and, like, “shruggable” just lead me to being careless and undisciplined? I mean, if I give myself permission to do whatever, am I not just giving up on my goal to stop procrastinating? Won’t I get all complacent and lazy and just sit around watching TV all day doing nothing?”No, not at all.Taking on the Meditator’s Mindset doesn’t mean giving yourself a free pass to indulge your vices whenever you feel like it—whenever it Feels Right. Just like meditation still has its one hard rule (focus on the breath) you still have your hard rules. Your North Star. Your system protocols. These are the boundaries you’ve set, the ones that reflect the life you want to live. They are non-negotiable.So, let me say it clearly:When faced with the opportunity to deviate—when the voice of temptation says “just this once”—you are not allowed. You don’t get to cheat. You don’t make exceptions. You don't have "permission". Just like in meditation, you’re not allowed to intentionally break focus.That said, you must carry the unspoken rule, the one at the core of the ancient practice of meditation: unconditional, instant, automatic compassion when you slip.Whether it’s a two-minute unsanctioned email check, or a three-day binge watching police body-cam footage on YouTube (just me?)... the rule is the same:No shame. No guilt. No spiraling. Just self-compassion. Just you coming back to the practice.

The importance of self-compassion

The reason self-compassion is so central to this method is because it’s straight-up pragmatic.Sure, it’s nice that by stopping the self-hate and not getting mad at yourself, you’ll feel better… but honestly, all I care about is what works. What actually produces results.Like, if kicking yourself provided results, I’d be selling steel-toed, Habit Reframe–branded shoes. But, oh well, it doesn’t.Self-compassion is simply effective. And that's because it eliminates one of the biggest drivers behind your behavior around vices.See, the rut you’re in isn’t caused by isolated actions. It’s not just one bad decision here or there. What keeps you stuck are interlocking feedback loops—a kind of ecosystem of self-sabotage.There’s the small loop. It lasts the span of a work session. You start with a minor indulgence—maybe a quick scroll. That sparks discomfort: either the itch for more, or a pang of guilt. That discomfort drives you back to the vice for relief. You waste more time, feel more stressed, get more cravings… and round and round you go.Here’s that Doomscroll Feedback Loop diagram again:

Day after day, you get caught in these doomscroll spirals. And because they flood your brain with easy rewards, your survival system gets tricked into thinking you’re thriving. So your motivation gets suppressed. You start to feel lethargic, dull, uninspired. This is VIDS.But life doesn’t care about your dopamine levels. You still have obligations and deadlines. So, each day, you dump a mountain of expectations on yourself. And what happens next?You fall short.You feel incapable. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Ashamed.That emotional pain acts like fuel for more desire and compulsions. You suddenly find yourself armed with a neat excuse, a reason to grab at a vice and “escape” the threat. But the threat is you. And you can’t escape you—not for long anyway.So the stress and judgment return, only more elevated... and down you go, spiraling back into the doomscroll loop.

All of that, the little loop nested in a larger one spanning weeks and months... it makes for a royal mess.But it’s a moving mess. A machine. And like any machine, it only runs if the gears are engaged and spinning.Self-compassion is your iron bar. It’s the solid spoke you can jam into those gears at any point in the cycle—instantly jamming it, stopping the forward motion, breaking the loop before it spirals out further.So when do you stick that iron bar into the machine?

Doesn't matter, really.Each of these is a moment where a gentle, intentional “It’s okay—let’s return” will do far more than self-flagellation ever could.

Don’t Get Mad, Get Data

When was the last time you actually asked yourself why a work session fell apart?And I mean really asked, like from scratch, making a concerted effort to set aside all the usual assumptions and “oh it's because I'm the worst, is all...” self-blame scripts.See, you’ve been telling yourself the same story about yourself for years. But you do have a choice; to not to accept it as truth.In the aftermath of a completely derailed work session—or an evening of vices and binging—you can pause and take a cold, impartial look. You can come to a different conclusion about what exactly happened and why.And it’s not just that you can do this... I’d argue you must.Being able to scrutinize your failures in a detached, impartial way is essential if you want to improve your situation over time.

Don’t get mad, get data.That’s the mantra I want you to take to heart.When you slip, don’t get mad at yourself. Get data about yourself. Take a moment to hear the emotional ramblings of your mind—I messed up again. I have no control. It’s hopeless.—but then move on to more objective signals:

What you’re looking for are patterns.You want to spot the small, nearly imperceptible cues that usually get drowned out by emotional noise—but that show up again and again, and are responsible for things derailing.

Why is collecting data important? Well, like me, you’ve been obsessing over fixing things, which is fine. But it hasn’t been working because you don’t know the real reasons why you’re seemingly broken. You can’t find the solution if your assumptions about the cause of the problem are way off… which, as I told you right at the top of this webbook, they are. Trust me.You made up your mind around age 13, which was about the time you procrastinated on homework for the first time. This event led to the nucleus of the idea that you are fundamentally flawed. A phrase like “I’m an idiot procrastinator” soon became your mental refrain.Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the thing you bought this thing for—some perfected step-by-step method that’ll get you to instantly and forever change and somehow become more disciplined—it doesn’t exist.It can’t exist, because they (the people writing self-help stuff, myself included) and more importantly you don’t know the whole picture.You haven’t collected all the data points yet; the Hows and Whys and Whens and Ifs and other truths about your compulsive behaviors and derailed works-sessions. You haven’t tracked the patterns yet.Figuring all that out requires two things: real experiences of failure (which you’ll have plenty of), then objective, calm and dispassionate reflection (which you never do, but you can and should start doing today, using self-compassion).This was a huge breakthrough for me. Sorry if that’s tacky self-help speak, but it’s true.Suddenly, my derailed work sessions had meaning. They were useful. They were filled with crucial information—information I would need to better manage my actions and achieve my goals.With my commitment to unconditional self-compassion, I relinquished the expectation and fantasy that I was ever going to be perfect from some moment onwards, and I instead baked the idea of faltering and failing right into my personal self-improvement system.Time for you to do the same.

You Turn: Applying Self-Compassion

Here's a two-part exercise for you do right now.

Like right now. Clean slate. Forgive yourself because you deserve to forgive yourself.And if you're having a hard time with that—if you believe your past to be truly shameful and unforgivable—then the support and guidance of a professional is straight up mandatory. Like you need to walk in and say, "here's what I hate about myself. Deep down, I truly believe it, even though on the surface I know it's all BS. But it's holding, and I want help in letting it go."

Again, no matter the circumstance... instant clean slate. Instant self-compassion. Instant reverting back towards the path you know to be right.You need to forgive yourself because you deserve to forgive yourself.

Limitations of Self-Compassion

When taken to extremes, self-compassion can slip into complacency. Under the guise of “unconditional self-kindness,” it becomes a way to endlessly excuse deviations from your system—leaving you directionless. A leaf in the wind, carried along by fleeting desires.That wasn’t always a problem. We evolved to operate mostly on autopilot, drifting along the air currents of Hot Cognition. We grabbed at rewards before they vanished. We acted on instinct. We did what Felt Right—without needing to question whether it Was Right.And back then, that was fine. The Feels Right winds were mild, infrequent, and mostly pointed us in the right direction anyway.But today? It’s windy AF. All. The. Time. And the wind is almost never blowing toward the life we actually want.We live in an era of hyper-accessible vices. Our primitive desires are getting pulled and yanked in every direction. “Going with the flow” doesn’t just stall progress—it sends us tumbling into spirals we know are bad for us. And whether we soften the fall with self-compassion or not… doesn’t count for much if, deep down, we still wish we were headed somewhere else.That’s the real goal of the method: To realign the winds of what Feels Right with what we Know Is Right.So what do we do in the meantime?Setting rules and installing blockers is a great start. If the blockers hold, you’ll gradually reconnect with those quieter, natural urges to do something meaningful. And if they don’t? That’s when self-compassion catches you—softens the blow, keeps you from spiraling.But I know that isn’t enough. Not yet. Because until the winds shift, you still need a way to stay grounded in the storm.And you don’t just want to wait for change. You want to nudge it. To lean into the wind, bit by bit. To train your impulses—going from someone who reacts by impulse to someone who responds with intention.You want to slowly teach your brain that the path that Is Right… should also Feel Right.That’s what mindfulness is for. And that's our last bucket.

Fourth Bucket: Mindfulness

Computer is turned on. Check.Seat is ergonomically positioned; posture is straight. Check.Website blockers are activated and locked. Check.Desktop is clean and tidy, chhh—no wait the stapler is crooked. Okay, there—eck.Coding software is loaded and good to go.All systems check. Houston, we’re ready for takeoff.3...2...1...Okay, let’s do this thing—aaaaaaaaaand I don’t feel like it.Like I really don't feel like doing the work.C’mon?! Why is this happening to me?!What is it with this feeling?

Dealing with Resistance

By now, we know all about that feeling? About the dreary mix of lethargy and disinterest.The feeling sucks in and of it Because you really can't afford to let some "feeling" sabotage you and your intentions to get work done. You—the adult with responsibilities and obligations—really can't let yourself waste yet another work session on meaningless and juvenile garbage... all because you, like, "don't feel like it".So you tell yourself...

Maybe you have an important work or school assignment. Maybe the deadline is in 24 hours. And maybe you know it'll take roughly 8 hours.So, okay, you're not exactly screwed—not yet anyway. It'd just be nice to, you know, not cram it all in an absolute last-minute frenzy. Be nice to forgo the stress and panic of procrastination—to say nothing of the risk and worry of delivering a shoddy final product.How can it be done? How can you overcome the resistance and get the work done without procrastinating some more until you feel the suffocating squeeze of an imminent deadline?Well, the way I see it, you have three options:

💪 Option 1: Power through it.

When you feel resistance, push through with gritted teeth. Tell yourself that motivation is overrated. You need to just sit down, shut up, and command your fingers to tap at the keyboard, letter by letter.This is possible. But, like wading upstream against a swift current, my-oh-my is it exhausting. Sure, ex-Navy SEALs can wrestle with resistance for hours... but mere mortals like you and I, we just won't have the stamina.

🍫 Option 2: Indulge your craving.

Just go with the idea to check LinkedIn or whatever else that’s not yet blocked... in the hopes that the resistance will pass, and you’ll be able to return to work with a clear head and more motivation and focus.Yeah. No.It never pans out the way you hope and instead snowballs out of control.

👻 Option 3: Apply the Ghost-House Technique.

When you feel resistance, push through with gritted teeth. Tell yourself that motivation is overrated. You need to just sit down, shut up, and command your fingers to tap at the keyboard, letter by letter.This is possible. But, like wading upstream against a swift current, my-oh-my is it exhausting. Sure, ex-Navy SEALs can wrestle with resistance for hours... but mere mortals like you and I, we just won't have the stamina.

This works. Here's how it's done.

The Ghost-House Technique

You're eight years old again, in the basement, playing Super Mario. The Mario you're controlling enters a haunted house level (cue the door-creak soundbite)

You advance a few paces when an angry ghost glides towards Mario from behind. This rattles you, but you manage to turn around just in time. Phew.

Here's the thing. Looking at the ghost doesn't make it go away. There's nothing you can do to eliminate it. Ghosts are immune to everything, including cape whips and fireballs. The only thing Mario can do is manage the ghosts by facing them and making them freeze.With the ghost immobilized, eight-year-old-you can take a breath and plan the next move.

Eight-year-old you then swiftly navigates the obstacles before turning around to face the ghost again. It takes a few stop-and-go cycles, but you manage to finish the level without losing a single life. Success.You can do the same thing with resistance.Just like with the ghost, resistance can only be managed. And this is also done by facing it.

Here's the thing. 'Facing' resistance doesn't make it go away. Observing it is not some psychological fireball you can use to eliminate it. But, with it immobilized, you can plan your next move.

Then, mindful and present, perform your first set of actions diligently, carefully, and slowly.When you complete those tasks, or when you feel the intensity of ghostly resistance creep too closely... just stop. Turn away from the work. Look at the resistance ghost again. Take a few breaths. Plan your next move. Then go forward some more.Give yourself the liberty and self-compassion to go through as many "stop, observe, plan, go, stop" sequences as you need. Be patient with yourself.With enough time and repetition, things may click, escalate, and become self-propelling. Eventually, you might find yourself in a state of productive flow.At the same time, if it's just not happening—if you're not gaining any momentum and the "ugh, I just don't feel like it" sensation is persisting and demoralizing you to no end—give yourself permission to unplug, get up, and go for a walk.Come back in a few minutes or so to try again.Do not force yourself to work.Not then. Not ever.

A Primer on mindfulness

In applying the Habit Reframe Method to your daily life, you’ll be leaning on a practice called mindfulness.The Ghost-House Technique applies mindfulness specifically to handling work resistance, but there are plenty of other valuable uses for it, which we’ll explore more in this bucket.As you’ll see, each application will follow the same pattern: when you’re in situation X, apply mindfulness in this way.But the practice itself is quite simple.All it involves is deliberately paying attention to the present moment in a calm, detached, and objective manner. You’re just observing the flow of your inner experiences—your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations—without judgment, and without getting entangled in them or what they mean about you.

Now, it’s super important that you’ve grasped the concept of mindfulness and can practice it independently, on command. So here’s a pair of quick exercises, first to help ensure the idea really clicks, and then to give you some direct, practical experience.Let’s start with something that might seem odd at first—but please, just go with it.When you’re ready, I want you to say out loud the following phrase ( or whisper it if you’re in public):There is a goat in the yard.Repeat it a few times...There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard…

Keep it going on repeat.There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard…Now, stop saying it out loud, but continue saying it in your head. See if you can "observe" that thought loop as it repeats.See if you can look at it.Focus your attention on the sound of the phrase—as if there’s a Bluetooth speaker inside or near you, looping the words constantly.There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard. There is a goat in the yard…Let it repeat a few more times. Keep observing.Boom.That right there is mindfulness at play.

That’s you observing your thoughts in a detached way, like a curious bystander witnessing these mental sounds.And you can do the same with emotions and physical sensations.Like right now—stop to consider what it feels like for your butt muscles to make contact with your chair.Really. Just look at the sensation.Now take a look at your current emotional state (or lack thereof). Try to observe, say, your motivation levels. How does it feel?Again—that right there is you practicing mindfulness. That’s really all there is to it.

You're Turn: The Ghost-Level Technique

Dealing with the very low motivation and mental states

You've put in the work. Fleshed out your North Star goals, rules, and commitments. You set up your website blockers. Deleted the social apps. Prepped your workspace.You sit down to work, take a deep breath, and of course... nothing."Just use the Ghost-House Technique," you tell yourself. So you do. You try to observe what's going on inside—to look at the resistance. Instead, you come up against something intense. It's overwhelming. Suffocating. Paralyzing.I... I just can't do it.What then?Like, what do you do when you just can't? When everything feels so utterly impossible and exhausting and hopeless?Because here's the thing: this state is a very real possibility. Especially at first. Especially when your VIDS symptoms are at their peak and stubbornly refuse to go down.Having lived through it countless times—without ever being able to neatly "hack" my way out—I’m not going to pretend I’ve got some miracle cure.If you have zero fucking spoons... you have zero fucking spoons.And no self-help guru is going to warn you about this. Makes sense, though. Because 1) most have no idea what it’s actually like, having never gone through it, and 2) even if they did, in their distant past, deal with crushing motivation issues, no publisher would let them admit the sheer futility of the situation. If the advice is not about all up-and-to-the-right linear progress—if it’s not a clean do this → get that formula—it’s not making the final cut.But it is real. It will happen. It will frustrate and discourage you. And it will make you seriously doubt whether you’re ever going to get better with this method.

The Vice Flu

Laura McKowen, who is very much not a self-help guru, perfectly describes this sort of experience in her book We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life:

Now, I'm tempted to use the term "withdrawal effects," but that’s not quite what's going on here.Unless your application of the method involves giving up drugs, alcohol, or heaping amounts of sugar, you're not going to experience any physical withdrawal. And even if it were the case, withdrawal—while potentially intense and dangerous—is still a treatable phase of recovery.So what’s up with these sudden drops in mood and energy? What is it that weighs you down and renders you utterly paralyzed and unable to do any work?Well, just remember—you’ve been leaning on your vices as a coping mechanism. You’ve been using them to numb yourself from life’s stresses, worries, regrets, insecurities, and unresolved trauma.So it’s natural that, once you quit using your vices for that purpose, the pain and discomfort they so expertly suppressed will creep back in—and amplify.And this creates an incredibly confusing, frustrating situation. Because by taking on this method, you’ve made positive changes. Giving up your vices should make you feel better, right? That’s the normal expectation…But when the exact opposite happens—when your motivation, happiness, and outlook plummet after quitting those vices (the very thing that was supposed to help)—it can feel like a cruel joke.And it’s in these dark moments of frustration and despair that the first spores of excuse begin to form—like mold and rot that only thrive in damp, vulnerable conditions.

With a thought like that, no amount of "willpower" or "self-control" will help.Because once the rationalizations start forming—once you genuinely start to believe you’d be better off with your vices than without them—it’s only a matter of time. You’ll find yourself disabling your blocks. You’ll slide back. And just like that, the old habits return.

If the problem is the sudden arrival of negative emotions, what, then, is the solution?As I've mentioned, simply becoming aware of this is extremely important. This whole phenomenon truly is unexpected. As you embark on the method, anticipate and brace for negative sensations and thoughts—which might only arrive on day two or three, and reappear sporadically in the weeks that follow.When it hits, treat it like the flu. Unplug from your situation. Let time pass. Give yourself permission not to start a million good habits, not to chase your dreams just yet, not to get all busy and productive just because you stopped with the bad stuff and that’s what everyone says you're supposed to do next.Whoever first said you need to replace bad habits with good ones was, for sure, like a mid-2000s Tumblr blogger giving advice to his tennis partner. Sure, that might work if you’re trying to stop biting your nails. But for those of us dealing with serious, years-long bad habits? Yeah, not so much.So don’t pretend to be all swell, chipper, and grateful for every blessing of a breath just because you’ve convinced yourself that’s how you’re supposed to feel now that you’re “free” from vices.Just allow what is to be.Allow time to pass—and since that won’t always be easy, give yourself permission to “tier down” with your vices.

3 Tiers of Vices

I’ve noticed a common, yet oddly unspoken theme in pretty much every sobriety memoir I’ve read: once the writer gives up alcohol, they allow themselves to indulge in lesser comforts. Think Netflix binges curled up under a pile of blankets with a Costco bag of Sour Patch Kids.They do this to help cope with the bad feelings the alcohol once pacified—and it's okay, at least for a while, because all that matters is getting through the difficult early stages of abstaining from their worst and most impactful vices.You should do that too.To help navigate the pain and dreariness of Sudden Mood Drops (especially the inevitable first one, which may hit soon after reading this), give yourself full permission to "tier down" with your vices.

🥃 Tier 1: The Hard Stuff

Traditional, destructive behaviors—many of which have been around for millennia. These include alcohol and drug abuse, smoking, and gambling. Often highly addictive, with severe consequences to health and life.

📱 Tier 2: The Junk

Seemingly benign, but with insidious, gradual effects, aka VIDS. Think streaming shows, YouTube, Reddit, social media, junk food, and pornography.

📚 Tier 3: The Passive Stuff

Things like reading books, listening to music or podcasts, doing puzzles, engaging in hobbies, healthy snacking, or taking online courses. Not harmful, and often beneficial—yet still escapist when used to avoid discomfort.

So if your current vices happen to be Netflix and Sour Patch Kids (Tier 2), go ahead and tier down. Read a fantasy novel. Fix yourself a healthy snack. Lie back and listen to that old rap album you loved as a teen (Tier 3).

As you’ll see in the next section, dealing with the source of your bad feelings is going to be difficult and taxing. But no one has the stamina to grind through it 24/7. You can’t be faulted for needing a break—some relief.Just make sure the consequences of your coping vices are an order of magnitude smaller than the consequences of your original ones.That’s the key. When “tiering down,” what matters is that the medication’s side effects are tolerable compared to the disease. Sure, maybe you gain a bit of weight after quitting cigarettes—but that’s better than a tumor in your lungs. You can deal with the former later.And yeah, you’re still procrastinating if you’re listening to music or podcasts instead of doing the work—but it’s way better than chasing continuous dopamine spikes from compulsive TikTok scrolling.All that matters is finding a way to let time pass—without making your situation worse.Because it’s only time that has the power to dissolve VIDS.

Un-plug. Do nothing. Be Mindful.

If the second-best thing to do during Sudden Mood Drops is to kill time with a tiered-down vice, the first-best thing is to do... nothing.Sit on your couch and stare at the wall. Go for a long walk. Take a day trip out in nature.

From there, your only job is to let everything internal—the stuff you’ve been impulsively escaping from with your vices—surface and run its course.You do this by observing. Observing your feelings and emotions. Sitting with your frustrations, stress, regrets, worries, and fears. Listening to the thought loops without judgment.Feel the cravings. Get curious about what they feel like in your body. "Look at" the sensations of hopelessness, apathy, or depression itself.

Through this act of gentle but deliberate observation—mindfulness—you take a seat in the back row of your mind’s own three-ring circus.This is not how we normally live. Normally, yeah, we might "go" to the circus... but we end up tossed into the ring with the obnoxious MC, dickhead clowns, and hungry lions. This time, think of it as attending the circus—that mandatory human experience—but sitting way up in the stands, watching the chaos from a safe distance.After a while, if it gets too intense—or just boring and repetitive—step out of the tent. Go for another walk. Crack open a book. Listen to an old album.Then come back when you're ready for a bit more mindful self-therapy.

Emotional State Permanence Bias

You know what I find to be both the weirdest and most consistent thing about recovering from tech addiction and dealing with depression?When I wake up refreshed and optimistic—when I’ve strung together a few solid work sessions or workouts, made it ten days without overindulging—I genuinely can’t imagine feeling any other way. The idea of falling back into a dark, miserable rut feels impossible. The thought of binge-watching crappy TikTok or YouTube videos is repulsive.The reverse, though, is even more true.When I’m in the pit—when hopelessness, self-contempt, and apathy obscure everything good; when my motivation is buried at negative 1000 and I can’t imagine even trying to get out of bed—I become convinced that this is how I’ll feel forever. The idea that I’ll one day be energized, hopeful, and free from my compulsions? Laughable.In short: however I feel mentally in any given moment becomes how I expect to feel forever. Any other state is unfathomable.I call this Emotional State Permanence Bias. It’s a cognitive distortion where your brain extrapolates your current emotional state and assumes that's how you'll feel forever.But your inner state is never permanent. It ebbs and flows like the ocean tide.I bring this up to remind you that these low moods won’t last, even if they feel like they will. And they will feel that way. But time will pass. So will the sentiment. So will the outlook.The Vice Flu and the many Emotional State Crashes that follow will suck. It'll be hard. It might feel like you’re stuck that way for life. But when you're caught up in it, remember: things will get better. Remind yourself of Emotional State Permanence Bias. Remind yourself that your thinking is off.Whereas in the past, you may have reached for a vice to numb those bad feelings—only for them to come back worse—this time, you’ll just observe mindfully. You’ll let them run their course.This time, you’ll know what to do.

Dealing with Big Triggers

If you’re an aspiring artist, you know what it’s like to put something out there.It hardly matters what you tell yourself. That how people react, whether they like or dislike it, upvote or downvote it, has zero bearing on who you are as a person. That whether this one piece “pops” on some algorithmic platform (which mostly caters to shallow garbage anyway) has no real say in whether you’ll ever “make it.”All that really matters is showing up, punching in, doing the work, releasing it, and moving on to the next one.Yet in the end, whatever you put into the world still feels like a piece of you. It’s you—naked and vulnerable. Exposed to criticism and hate. To comparison and rejection. Or, worst of all, crickets of indifference.

I bring this up because, as an aspiring writer, the release part of the creative process has been, by far, my biggest Big Trigger.It’s unreal how much it can affect me. I’ll get nailed with self-doubt and imposter syndrome the moment the performance of whatever I put out doesn’t match my expectations. Which often sends me reaching for a vice.And because the piece I’d just released was usually about how not to reach for vices, the imposter syndrome only gets confirmed—spiraling me even further away into oblivion.But that’s me. All I know is you don’t have to be an aspiring anything to know what a Big Trigger feels like. Life dishes them out to all of us, and they can be absolutely brutal sometimes—but if we’re going to make it through this journey, we need a better way to deal.And that way is mindfulness.

The Mindful Way Through Triggers

You need to treat Big Triggers the same way as Emotional State Crashes. The same wiring is at play—but with triggers, the drop is sharper, the hit deeper, the urgency to escape way more intense.In those moments, your brain’s instinct is to grab at the nearest Tier-2 vice. Doomscrolling, binging junk food, disappearing into porn or gaming—anything to numb the pain and just not exist for a while.And here’s the thing: it’s okay to want to escape when a trigger first hits. When you're under a threat, real or imagined, your nervous system will flare up as it seeks ways to escapse and survive. You’re not “weak” for feeling that way. You’re just human, wired to avoid discomfort and danger—even if the “danger” is just emotional.The trick is not trying to force yourself to be all Zen while your nerves are on fire. Sometimes the smartest move is to simply pause. Breathe. Wait for the wave to crest. Let the cortisol flush through your system.You do this by going for a long walk. By distracting yourself with a Tier-3 vice. By doing what you can to live through the negative sensations without creating the conditions for them worsening.

From that point—when the edge has softened—that’s your opening. That’s when you can turn toward the trigger and bring in mindfulness.Start observing, calmly and objectively:

If there’s something to fix, you can fix it. If not, you can let it go.It’s like that old prayer, pass around recovery circles, attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr:

Mindfulness gives you that wisdom. Not in some cosmic, mystical sense, but in the very practical moment where you choose whether to act… or just let the storm pass.That’s how you navigate Big Triggers. Not by suppressing your feelings. Not by pretending to be above it all. But by giving yourself the space to feel it safely, then deciding—deliberately—what comes next.

Dealing with depression

If you're someone who has struggled with self-control for years—if you've faced countless personal disappointments and failures—it's likely you're also someone who has dealt with depression, diagnosed or not. Along with it often comes anxiety, regret, and issues of self-worth.The truth is, the real work of the Habit Reframe Method is this:Doing your best to confront and process painful emotions—rather than escaping them through your vices, as you’ve likely been doing since childhood.This is the cost of freedom from the grip of vices.This is the price you need to pay to actually stop procrastinating and get solid work done.And this, of course, is best done through mindfulness.

Much-needed and sincere disclaimer said, I can speak about depression because I know it well. I know it on an intellectual level, having read a lot about it over the years. More importantly, I know it on a personal level.Throughout my entire twenties, I went through some pretty harsh episodes. I became apathetic, passive, and unable to experience much joy or pleasure (this is called anhedonia). I’ve often felt deep, unrelenting pangs of regret, longing, and hopelessness. Other times, I just felt nothing.Depression made my bad habits worse—since I was quick to reach for a vice to escape or numb the pain. Or maybe my bad habits made the depression worse, because they wasted my time and made me feel like a pathetic failure. Either way, the two—vices and depression—were fully entwined for most of my life.Thankfully, today, depression is no longer a defining feature of my life.I was taught—by a compassionate social worker I’ll be forever grateful to—how to use mindfulness to manage it.The keyword there is manage.I’m not cured. I don’t think I ever will be. And I’m okay with that
I just don’t suffer from it like I did before.

How to Manage Depression with Mindfulness

Depression, for me at least, is getting randomly struck with an unpleasant feeling. Often, there’s no reason for it. Like nothing happened to make me upset or feel down. The feeling just happens—like a dark cloud drifting across an otherwise clear emotional horizon.The feeling might be sadness, regret, self-doubt, hopelessness. Sometimes it’s nameless—just heavy, dark, and negative. And pretty soon, my mind scrambles to make sense of it. It spins up a narrative: dredging up regrets, projecting future doom, replaying old mistakes.It sucks.But when I use mindfulness, those feelings “suck” in the same way a dark rain cloud might “suck” for a guy at the beach. The cloud is real—it’s part of the scene—but it has nothing to do with him personally. It’s not about who he is, what he deserves, or whether he’s done something wrong. The cloud is just a product of wind, humidity, and pressure patterns.It is what it is.He can’t will it away. He can’t solve it by getting upset. He can’t zap it with some cloud-blasting laser. It does indeed suck, bt there’s nothing to do but watch and wait.That’s exactly what I do with the clouds of depression.I let go of the idea that this has anything to do with me as a person.
It’s just a brain-chemical thing.
Then I watch. And I wait.

I just look at it. I get mindful of it. And I wait some more.I don’t expect the feeling to go away just because I’m conscious of it. This isn’t a trick or a hack. I’m not using mindfulness as a way to zap away the emotion with focus.Instead, when I have the full thing within my awareness, I continue:

Once I take that detached stance—once I become the non-judgmental observer—I find I’m far less likely to spiral. I don’t ruminate as much. Things don’t snowball out of control.Oh—and I try my best not to make an identity out of it.I am not “depressed.” I can see, feel, and hear depression—but I am not it.
I am someone who experiences symptoms of depression.I mean, I sometimes feel happy too, but I don’t call myself “happied.”
It’s just a fleeting state. A thing that passes.In the end, I still get wet when it rains. I still feel the cold. But I don’t suffer—not like before. With mindfulness, I can accept the negative emotions as they are.So can you.

This webbook isn’t intended to directly cure depression or heal past trauma. But my hope is that by following the steps of the Habit Reframe Method—by managing your vices and building a positive, consistent foundation of self-care, lifestyle, and meaningful work—your experience of negative emotions like depression will start to recede in some tangible way.It may take time—and it won’t always be straightforward.I mean, your external environment could be pristine. Your habits could be 100% in check. You might even hit a big milestone in your life… and still, depression may happen. Unprovoked. Unexpected. Unreasonable.Maybe inner sadness, longing, and loss are just part of the human condition—incurable facets of being alive. Or maybe it’s simply a chemical issue, and it’ll be up to you and your doctor to find an intervention that works.Whatever the cause, I’ve found mindfulness to be the best way to manage it. Not to fix it, not to cure it—but to live with it in a way that doesn’t consume you.And if you are someone who deals with depression, know this:You are not alone. And life does get better—especially when you create the right mental conditions to work on yourself and on something that feels meaningful to you.I’ll say it again: depression is not you. You are not “depressed.” You—the true you—are the observer.
You just happen to have a brain and body that operate in certain ways. Sometimes that includes a steady whooshing of chemicals (or lack thereof) that stir up bad feelings and thoughts.My advice—alongside seeking support—is to be mindful of the symptoms when they appear. Just as you’ve learned to do with resistance and cravings, you can do the same with depression.Observe the negative sensations. Don’t resist them. Don’t escape or distract. Just be present with them, as best you can.That little empty void we all have at our core is the most painful thing, while also being a teacher of compassion, love, and patience (Credit to Laura McKowen for that insight). That can only happen by observing it. By coming to terms with it. By realizing that it doesn’t define you—not even close.You’ll be okay.With mindfulness, self-care, self-compassion, and maybe a little help when you need it… things will get better.

Dealing with Doomscrolls and Binges

Your vices will make you laugh. They’ll entertain you. They’ll distract you from stress, anxiety, or boredom.After years of these experiences, your brain has “pinned” these vices to a variety of net positive emotions.So, what can we do about that?Logically, we need to start linking negative sensations to your vices. The good thing is—and “good” is a relative term here—there’s usually a moment after you’ve gone too far with a doomscroll or binge when things don’t feel so good.It might be emptiness. Or a spike of anxiety from procrastinating on something important. Or that sinking regret after wasting time you’d set aside to chase a creative dream. Even the bloated queasiness from junk food counts.In theory, your brain should pin those unpleasant feelings to the vice itself. It caused the problem, after all.But that’s not what happens.Because of the disconnect between vices and their consequences…The vice doesn’t get the blame. The chemicals in the junk food don’t get the blame.You do.You get blamed for the apparent self-control failure—and for whatever it cost you.Just look at the mental chatter that kicks in during those low points:

And so, instead of the bad feelings being pinned to the vice, they get pinned to you. They attach to your self-image. Which helps explain the self-contempt and the wear on your self-worth.Meanwhile, the vice keeps getting pinned to positive, pleasant emotions. And if it then creates more pain, well it soothes that too.All this needs to stop.If you’re going to feel bad, and if it’s going to hurt, then you may as well leverage those bad feelings to your advantage.And to do that, you need to start pinning the pain to what actually caused them: the vice.

Pinning the Bad Sensations

When you falter on your commitments to follow your North Star and overindulge in a vice, start by observing and being mindful of the resulting bad feelings. Stop to observe and really take it in. Look at it all dispassionately, as if it's a tangible thing separate from you.Then, consciously—mindfully—associate that feeling with its cause.There’s no formula for this. No single right way to do it.Here’s what I do:If I waste an evening on Reddit and feel the pit in my stomach, I physically stand up, point at the screen, and say aloud:

I take a moment to anchor that association. I want my brain to remember it.What matters is that you’re being honest. I’m not asking you to play mind games or chant affirmations you don’t believe. There’s a real, observable cause-and-effect happening:You overindulge in a vice → then you feel awful.It’s time your brain knew that.Never let a bad feeling go to waste.

What Next?

Whatever you do, after a doomscroll or a binge, don’t try to force a sharp 180 and dive straight into productivity.It won’t work.The Vice Induced Depressive Syndrome symptoms are too intense. You’re too depleted.So give yourself permission to not bounce back right away. Take half a day—or more—where you don’t pressure yourself to do anything. Shut off your phone. Power down your devices. Clear the house of junk food or other vices. Just be.This isn’t like the usual self-help advice that tells you to “replace” a bad habit with a good one. Sounds nice, but it doesn’t work—at least not for me.When I’m at rock bottom, I have no energy. No motivation. Just stress, shame, and a world full of easy distractions. Trying to be productive in that state adds pressure and heightens the anxiety. No bueno.The better approach is to unplug. Let yourself do nothing.Sit in silence. Stare at the ceiling. Go for a long walk. Drive out to nature. Breathe.It might feel like you’re back at square one—but you’re not. This is the method. This is part of the work. You’re iterating. Testing. Learning. Reframing.You try. You fail. You pin the bad emotion. You apply self-compassion. You extract the lesson. You adjust. You try again.That’s the path.The endgame is to arrive—through many small iterations—at a life with rules, systems, and routines that align with your North Star. A life that works for you. One you actually enjoy.And each slip?Each loop?It’s not failure. It’s feedback.Each iteration is you doing the real work of getting better.

Dealing with cravings

So, as I write this, I’m reminded I need to drop off the wife at the local mall in an hour. That means I’ll be out and about—with the car, some free time, and a post-writing-session hungry-boy appetite.My primitive brain, which is forever convinced we’re on the brink of a long, cold, calorie-scarce winter (it’s June, by the way), went straight to fantasizing about all the lovely fast food joints lining the boulevard on the trip back.And so, my brain starts conjuring pleasant memories and vivid images of me blissfully enjoying those meals. I know these are exaggerated. I know they don’t actually reflect reality. I know , if examined closely, they’re kind of eerie and off-putting—basically tailor-made for AI to depict.

Plus, I know I don’t really need to eat out. There are decent leftovers in the fridge. I shouldn’t be spending money needlessly.And yet, despite all that, right now... I’m craving everything about the experience. The rich umami mouthfeel of the burger (extra pickles). The cold-fizzy-sugar blast of Coke. The hot, salty, savory fries—served in two different containers for some reason.It’s like… ugh... I can’t lie to you. Getting some fast food right now just Feels Right, you know? Every part of it—there’s not a single dissenting neuron in my limbic system. And it’s honestly been a while, so the rationalization story writes itself.So what do I do?Because there it is. In black and white. One of my North Star rules: no unplanned solo fast food runs. A clear, unambiguous boundary I committed to—based on my goals of getting fit and maintaining heart health. No allowed exceptions. No wiggle room.SighI know that one day this will be way less of a big deal. Like, my Feels Right path will have curved northward enough that I can be in this exact situation—neat rationalization and all—and feel nothing. I’ll just shrug it off, mentally fast-forwarding to the post-fast-food “what am I doing with my life” bloat and lethargy.

But that day… is not today.So what do I do? How do I deal?

As we learned in Part 1, we’re all born with mental wiring that uses a reward-based mechanism to motivate us to take action. This system has ensured our survival for millennia.But because our vices provide artificial shortcuts to reward, they don’t actually deliver survival benefits—only detriments. This is especially true when it comes to the steep sugar-fat-salt loading of fast food. Yet the brain doesn’t make that association. So we stay driven by cravings, compulsions, and rationalizations—by Hot Cognition—toward those behaviors.It just Feels Right.So how do you get Hot Cognition to stop?Well… you don’t. Short of lobotomizing your reward center, there’s nothing you can do to directly make those habitual urges and impulses disappear. But you can give them space.As Stephen Covey writes:

That's fancy self-help speak for: just look at it and wait.The more you look at the craving—the impulse, the image, the emotion—the more you detach from it. You begin to see it as raw data. As biological stimulus that may or may not be pointing in the Is Right direction. That’s when you can say, thanks but no thanks.It’s the difference between reacting and responding.

So that’s what I’ll do after dropping off my wife. I’ll do my best to look at the craving. To look at the rationalization. To look at the overly romanticized, over-embellished mental imagery.Then I’ll make a “no” decision—might as well commit to it right now—at which point I’ll get mindful of the discomfort that comes with forgoing what, to my primitive brain, feels like an easy shot at survival. Then I’ll come home, nuke yesterday’s tofu-and-chickpea dish (it’s better than it sounds), and be—and feel—all around happier for it.

Let’s look at another example—this time, tech-based.Let’s say you’re at the library, getting some work done. You open a fresh browser tab, giving you the idea to check Reddit. That’s the cue. Then come the Feels Right compulsions, cravings, and rationalizations. The Hot Cognition wave.When that hits, you need to stop.You need to sit there and do what you can to observe the impulse. Observe the craving. You need to “there is a goat in my yard” the shit out of both the thoughts and the physical sensations. Get mindful of it all—until you're just watching, without judgment.Next, shine the 10,000-watt lightbulb of awareness on it. Scrutinize the urge. Question it from every angle.You might ask:

The goal is to consciously reject the impulse—not out of sacrifice or deprivation, but because you know too much now. You know where these urges come from. You know they’re just misdirected instincts. You know how it ends: the craving doesn’t go away after one hit—it gets louder. The Doomscroll Feedback Loop spirals out. The VIDS symptoms inflate back up.You know that for every unit of gratification, there are a hundred units of consequences and regret.It’s just not fucking worth it. Not even close.

Still, making that conscious decision won’t make the craving vanish on the spot. It won’t silence the mental justifications. It takes time for Hot Cognition to run its course.So keep observing. Keep holding space. Stay mindful of the tension, the physical sensations, the thought loops—until they pass. If it gets tedious, unplug and go for a walk.Eventually, the wave will recede. Eventually, you’ll have made the better choice. You’ll have responded rather than reacted. You’ll have exercised your freedom.And remember Covey’s words:

With time and repetition, you’ll learn not to trust your cravings. You’ll learn to be skeptical. You’ll hear your rationalizations and call them what they are: lies. Manipulations. Misinformation. Nonsense. Fake fucking news.And also—with time—the cravings themselves will shrink. Their intensity and frequency will drop. As you progress with the method, as your brain finds other ways to experience real reward, and as what Feels Right starts to curve back toward what Is Right…You’ll just want it less.That’s the promised land we talked about earlier.You will get there.But until then, keep using mindfulness to deal with your cravings.

Increasing motivation

The Ghost-House Technique can be effective in overcoming instances of resistance toward your work. But it’s totally normal to want to reduce both the frequency and intensity of that resistance over time. It’s normal to want to reach a point where you genuinely and consistently just Feel Like engaging with your work—without needing a technique.Full recovery from VIDS symptoms—now that you're blocking your vices—typically takes two or three weeks. Maybe more. While you do need to be patient with this healing process, you don’t have to just passively wait it out. You can actively strengthen your internal motivation during this time.You do this by linking your work to positive feelings.James Clear talks about this in Atomic Habits. His fourth law, “Make it Satisfying,” asserts that the key to forming good habits is to make sure your brain associates them with a reward. This makes you more likely to want to do it.

But, as Clear explains, there’s a problem with this. With good habits, rewards aren’t guaranteed. And when they do show up, they’re usually indirect, require lots of repeated effort, and take a long time to arrive.Unlike vices—where the reward is obvious and immediate.As Clear writes:

Take, for example, a young pianist at her first recital. Receiving a standing ovation—if she happens to be talented enough to earn one—provides a supremely gratifying reward. But that reward comes at the cost of thousands of hours of solitary and praiseless practice. This is the classic case of delayed gratification.

Clear’s solution to this dilemma is to proactively attach an immediate reward to the habit—something separate, but directly tied to the action. He calls these incentives.For example, people didn’t adopt the habit of brushing their teeth until toothpaste companies added a foaming agent and peppermint flavoring. It was the immediate reward—the taste and mouthfeel—that led to widespread adoption of the habit, long before anyone cared about plaque.Clear gives a few more examples of using incentives:

When I first read this, I agreed with the concept. But on reflection, I found the practical application lacking. I was like,"Wait, am I supposed to book a $100 massage after each time I go for a jog?Should I keep a bag of gummy bears at my desk to reward myself each time I complete a work task?Or do I need to launch a playlist of hyper-stimulating MrBeast videos while folding laundry?"The problem is, as established by a ton of life experience, "rewarding" myself doesn’t work.It’s either too cumbersome—requiring extra steps that I’ll do once or twice before abandoning (like Clear’s impulse-buying example)... Or it just reinforces the idea that the work is tedious—which makes the resistance worse.I don’t know about you, but the idea of forever needing a carrot on a stick to entice me to do what I already know is best? Not appealing. I don’t want to treat myself like a stubborn donkey. At least, not over the long term.And let’s be honest: it’s never long before my brain decides to skip the middleman and go straight for the sugary bait. If the gummies are in my desk drawer, I’ll eat them before doing the work (while watching MrBeast). Rewards just don’t work.But there is a way out. There’s a way to make what Is Right begin to also Feel Right.It starts by realizing that what Is Right can also feel good.Because Clear got it wrong when he wrote:

Just because an act requires effort—or even discomfort—doesn’t mean it can’t be satisfying in the moment.On the contrary: doing something good for yourself, however small or inconsequential, does feel good. Maybe not the first time. Maybe not every time. But the potential for immediate reward is there.The problem is that we hardly pay attention to it.You just need to train your brain to:

With good habits, gratification doesn’t have to be only delayed. It can be both immediate and delayed.

Using mindfulness to generate motivation

Imagine—and this may be hard for you—that you woke up early, started your work or school day feeling inspired and energized, and managed to make it through the entire day with solid concentration and productivity.At the end of that day, how would you feel?Good, right? Amazing, maybe? You might even be inclined to let loose with a heel click or a little fist pump.

But what if, in that short moment, you stopped? What if you zeroed in on the sensation—really took it in with your full awareness? What if you then did your best to mentally associate the feeling with the action—working hard—that preceded it?Wouldn’t that be exactly the kind of experience you’d want to repeat , over and over and over again? Wouldn’t that start to increase your subconscious desire to do that sort of work? Wouldn’t that slowly bend what Feels Right toward what Is Right?Yes, for sure—but there’s a problem.It takes a lot of fist pumps—and many heel clicks—to actually rewire your brain. Right now, working hard—burning a ton of precious calories for some distant, abstract reward—isn’t all that enticing. Not when compared to the instant gratification of your vices.And let’s be honest: having that kind of “perfect day” is extremely rare. Even on a good day, you probably still waste time here and there. So when the day ends, it doesn’t feel that great.It’s a Catch-22:You can’t have a super productive day because you lack motivation… And you lack motivation because you haven’t had enough productive days to cultivate motivation.There is, however, a solution to this.And it lies in the breaks of the Pomodoro Technique.

The Art of "Pinning"

Forget, for a moment, being productive for an entire day.
Imagine if you just managed to work successfully for a single 20-minute time block.
(Or recall what just happened if you got some work done using the Ghost-House Technique.)Maybe you won’t feel like doing a heel click—but chances are, you’d feel good.

One of these moments won’t do much.
But imagine four, eight, or even sixteen of them every day.
That’s the kind of repetition that actually starts rewiring your brain.
That’s what you need to build habits.I encourage anyone to use the Pomodoro Technique for work or study—if only for ergonomic reasons.
If you’re unfamiliar, it’s nothing fancy. You simply break your session into work/break intervals:
25 minutes of work, followed by a 5-minute break. Repeat. That’s it.What’s key though—what takes the Habit Reframe Method to the next level—is what you do during those breaks.Let’s imagine you just finished your first 25-minute work block of the day.
The timer chimes. Time for a five-minute break.Here’s what to do:

First, stop.

Mindfully observe what’s happening inside. Notice your thoughts, emotions, and sensations. See if there’s even a hint of a good feeling to center your awareness on.

If you find it, focus on it.

Give it your full attention. Really feel it.

"Pin" the sensation

Then, mentally associate—pin—that feeling to the work you just did.

Here’s what I do:I stand up. I focus intently on the sensation. I point to the screen and say to myself:“That right there. That work is the cause of this good sensation!”From there—if I feel the urge—I let my body take over. Fist pumps are standard. Raising the roof? Also approved. Silly dance? Always welcome.There’s no best way to do this. No right or wrong—anything goes. Just be sure to always point back at the screen and link the celebration to the work.

A minute or so later, the feeling might fade. That’s okay.Use the rest of your break for some ergonomic resets:

If you’ve still got time, relax into a breath-focused mini meditation.And when the timer chimes again, get back to it. Run through the Ghost-House Technique again if needed—observe, accept resistance, move forward.Repeat this process with every Pomodoro cycle. When you get to the final chime—when your work session is done—make sure to pin the good feeling of that last unit of effort and the even greater satisfaction of having completed the whole session.As is my mantra:Never let a good feeling go to waste.

Pinning your way to better habits

This Pinning practice isn’t limited to work or study.Start applying it after a morning run, a meditation session, or cooking a healthy meal. After completing these activities, savor any positive feelings that emerge—satisfaction, well-being, or even just the relief of having followed through.Then, mentally link those emotions to the activity. Reinforce the connection between positive actions and positive outcomes. And yes—augment the effect with fist pumps, goofy dances, or whatever body movement helps drive it home.With enough repetition, you’ll find that resistance toward these habits gradually softens—sometimes even replaced by a subtle desire for them.More broadly, with each act of pinning, you start to turn self-improvement into what it needs to be: A sustainable journey of small victories, joy, satisfaction, and micro-boosts in self-worth, trust, and confidenceAnd it’s those feelings that pull you back toward healthy actions. That’s what kick-starts a kind of recursive growth in your overall well-being.

So once again: Never let a good feeling go to waste.

Part Three - Turning The Method into a Lifetime Practice

The Meditation Model

You made it. You’ve reached the end—but one big question remains:How do you actually make all this stick?How do you turn these ideas into lifelong habits that fuel momentum, produce results, and reshape your day-to-day experience?Well, there’s nothing I can write here that will force you to follow through. It’s 100% up to you to do the (simple) setup work, pace yourself through the uncomfortable parts, and apply the principles of unconditional self-love and compassion at every setback.But what I can offer is a model. A way to visualize how the Habit Reframe Method looks in practice—not just in theory.

From this point forward, think of your workdays as meditation sessions. Each session begins the moment you sit at your workstation and ends when you wrap up for the day.The structure, mindset, and even the challenges of meditation... that’s the Habit Reframe Method, applied to real life.Let’s walk through it. We’ll alternate between the familiar structure of a guided meditation, and how the same flow mirrors your daily routine with the method.

This, dear reader, is how you win the long game. Not by force, but by realigning your instincts—shifting what Feels Right toward what Is Right. And you do that one day at a time. One reversion at a time.

Your turn: Creating Your Personal Wisdom Bank

Alright, so we're pretty close to the end.So with that, I want to encourage you to take a second to jot down a few key reminders, what will fill out your “Personal Wisdom Bank”. These will appear on one of the pages of your Morning Prompt. Just think of them as the key bits of knowledge you want to remind yourself of regularly. Mantras, proverbs, sayings, quotes work well here too.To get there, ask yourself:

To get you started, I've added as placeholders a few of my own key reminders. Feel free to use or modify them as you see fit.Also, just know that your Wisdom Bank (along with everthing else North Star Prompt) can be updated at any time; so no worries if you just have 1 or 2 right now. You can and should add and update as you go.

Return to the workbook. Click the "Exercise 2 - Setting your Wisdom Bank" button.

Next steps

1. Actually Apply the Method

I’ve done pretty much all I can to convince you that change in habits doesn’t come from willpower alone. It comes from realignment. From slowly teaching your instincts that what Is Right can—and should—be what Feels Right.That’s the “Habit Reframe.”But this being a method and all, none of it matters if it just sits dormant in your psyche somewhere, next to the insights you got at that last self-help seminar.No, you need to apply it. To take it seriously and see it through—despite the challenges, setbacks, sticking points, and big-giant-what-the-eff-do-I-do-now question marks.When you get stuck—when you don’t know what to do—that’s when you reach out. Like, for real. Hashing out a mini game plan for specific situations is kind of my thing (I’ve confronted a million of them). I’m here for that—and for you.So yeah. You’re at the point where it’s time to really implement what you’ve learned. To change into the person you’re meant to be. And that change won’t come from some giant breakthrough. It’ll come from small, repeated choices.Choices that begin now.

Here's your recap-and-go game plan:

1. Activate your first bucket: Systems

By now, you'll have your North Star Prompt ready, setting it to auto-open when you launch your work session. Spend 2–5 minutes clicking through it each morning. This simple habit anchors your day in meaning and purpose—before the pull of vices kicks in.

2. Lock down your tech vices

Social media, YouTube, Reddit. You need time away from these vices to let your VIDS symptoms fade. Install Cold Turkey. Activate screen-time limits on your phone. Make it unchangeable without friction.

3. Wait

This is what sets the method apart. Lower your expectations of yourself—below your actual capacity for work. Otherwise, you’ll get frustrated with yourself and reach for a vice. Be mindful of the discomfort. Use a tiered-down vice if you must. But don’t rush in.

3.5. If absolutely needed: Use the Ghost-House Technique

When resistance hits, turn and face it. Pause. Notice the “I don’t feel like it” ghost. Then, plan one tiny step. Then move forward. Repeat as needed. You’re not trying to defeat resistance—just freeze it long enough to act.

4. Pin every win

After each Pomodoro, mini-task, workout, or self-care act, pause to feel the satisfaction. Act it out—fist pumps, dance moves, mental high-fives, whatever works—and mentally link that good feeling back to the action. Over time, these moments retrain your brain to want what's right. It's how you increase motivation towards them.

5. Be compassionate when you slip up

You deserve compassion. And forgiveness. And the space to process what happened—to take in the data and calm your nerves. Guilt, shame, self-reprimand, negative self-talk... none of that helps; some gentle TLC does.

6. Just keep going

Think of this method—and life, really—as a series of meditation sessions.You make a quiet commitment to some rules. You do your best. You celebrate when it works. You forgive when it doesn’t, returning to the practice and perhaps altering your system if needed. That’s all you can do. And that's plenty. That's more than enough.

So those are the steps. You won’t master 3 to 6 all in a day—but you will get better each time you show up. Stick with it this week. Track how it feels. Adjust as needed.The Habit Reframe Method only works when you make it your own. Time now to begin.

2. Reach out

I know I've repeated this 100 times, but seriously, I want to hear from you.Shoot me some feedback, comments, suggestions, criticism... or let me know how your progress is going. Small wins, big wins, tiny slip-ups, collossal failures... let me know about it.My aim is to make this thing better and better—and to eventually expand it to address specific needs. And all that takes lots and lots of feedback.

3. Support This Mission

Leave a review

Please take a second to leave a review or provide some feedback.If you’ve found value in this webbook, I’d be beyond grateful if you’d consider sharing your experience through a review. Your honest feedback helps others who are struggling just as you once were before discovering the Habit Reframe Method.When someone sees themselves in your story, they find hope that change is possible for them too.When writing your review, consider touching on what led you here—the specific struggle or pattern you were stuck in. You might share what made you skeptical at first, or what clicked for you—the particular insight or technique that helped you see things differently. Maybe talk about a moment where you applied the method and it actually shifted your behavior. You could even mention what surprised you about your own capacity to change, or how your daily life feels now compared to before.Even just a few honest sentences can be the thing that helps someone else finally take that first step.Either way, I just want to say thanks—for being part of this journey and for supporting this mission. You are awesome.

Help spread the word

I also ask you to do what you can to share the method.You’ve experienced firsthand how the Habit Reframe Method can transform daily struggles into opportunities for growth.I mean, I hope that’s been happening.Now, you have the chance to extend that transformation to others who might be stuck in the same cycles you once were.So… who in your life needs this method right now? Who’d listen if you told them, "This helped me, and I think it might help you too."Think about the friend who constantly battles procrastination, the colleague who can’t break free from digital distractions, or the family member caught in self-defeating patterns. Think of the online community that would do well with a recommendation that wasn’t Atomic Habits for once.All you need to do is encourage them to visit the landing page with an invite code. The free article there—based on my best and all-time upvoted post—provides a ton of value and practical insights they can apply right away. Loads of people have experienced meaningful shifts just from the principles outlined there (here’s proof—scroll to the comments).Any recommendation helps. Like, a lot. Word of mouth is key in all this.So yeah, a huge thanks for doing all you can to help.Note: Want to recommend this webbook to more than a few people? Want to earn some income with each conversion? Write me a message letting me know—I'll get back to you about setting something up.

Stay Subscribed

As promised, allowing the first payment to go through (after the 7-day free trial) is all it takes for permanent access.Yet, if you have the means, I ask that you stay subscribed for as long as you can. Your contribution goes a long way—it not only covers costs and allows me to do this full-time, but it also gets pumped back into growing the mission through paid promotions, helping more people discover and stick with the method.You also have the option of switching to annual billing at a 67% discount. Or, if you’d prefer to stay on monthly but at a lower rate, just hit me up with the amount and I’ll adjust it on my end—no questions asked.Every bit of support matters more than you know. Thanks for being part of this.

Final Thoughts

From time to time, I find myself browsing personal development subreddits and other online forums. I’ve also had the privilege of directly interacting with hundreds of people, either one-on-one or within the context of the group programs I like to host.Though it’s often initially hidden or masked, I invariably see a lot of pain and frustration. I also see a lot of self-directed resentment and anger. Or else shame and self-reprimand.I see this in people’s desperate attempts at coping with their vices. I see it in their cycles of making and breaking the same promises and resolutions. I see it manifested in a wide range of mental health issues. I see it in their agonized pleas for help.I truly believe that many people could benefit immensely by taking to heart the core ideas and lessons of this webbook. I believe that you, dear reader, could and will benefit greatly by doing all you can to apply the ideas of the Habit Reframe Method in your day-to-day life and by making it a lifetime practice.But if I could get you to retain a single message, it would be this: Love yourself.To love yourself means you’re centering your self-improvement journey on stuff like self-understanding, kindness, compassion, patience, and mindfulness... rather than self-control, willpower, force, expectations, pressure, and coercion.I employ time management and productivity hacks and apps like anyone else, yet I’ve learned through experience that it’s all useless until you learn to love, to accept, and to be kind to yourself.And I speak of self-love and self-compassion, not because I’m a positivity-obsessed hippie or because “it sure feels nice,” but because doing so is straight-up useful. Self-love is pragmatic.Loving yourself equals more mental clarity and inner peace.More peace equals more sustained motivation and drive.More motivation equals more useful action.More actions equal a better life.Ergo, self-love equals a better life.In other words, loving yourself causes self-improvement—and it’s not the other way around, as so many people have come to assume. The idea that goes, "Only once I become better with my productivity and habits, will I finally come to love myself" is all too common and tragically flawed. I know because I assumed it myself for most of my life.To take on good habits while leaving the bad ones behind, to make the world a better place, to be at peace and happy... you must accept and love yourself first.Period.

So, with that final message, it’s time for me to wrap this up. Much love to all of you, and thanks so much for reading.Be well,— Simon ㋛

The Habit Reframe Method and all related materials are original works and protected under copyright.

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